Humility – A Character Trait

A Difficult Topic

It is the month of Ramadan — a month of blessings, worship, fasting, recharging ourselves, iftar and Taraweeh gatherings, and renewing old friendships and making new ones. It is a reminder to review our character and improve our behavior so we can emerge as better people at the end of this month.

This is a difficult topic, because how can I tell you to be humble when I am not sure I am a humble person myself? The way I reconcile this is that whatever is said here applies to me first, and to others after.

The Servants of the Most Gracious

We have indeed been blessed with many bounties of Allah SWT, and we need to be thankful for these blessings — there is no better way than humbling ourselves.

وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَنِ الَّذِینَ یَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا

“For, [true] servants of the Most Gracious are [only] they who walk gently on earth, and who, whenever the foolish address them, reply with [words of] peace.”

Al-Furqan 25:63

Countless Blessings

وَآتَاكُم مِّن كُلِّ مَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُ وَإِن تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارٌ

“And He gives you something out of what you may be asking of Him; and should you try to count Allah's blessings, you could never compute them. [And yet,] behold, man is indeed most persistent in wrongdoing, stubbornly ingrate!”

Ibrahim 14:34

• An-Nahl 16:18 — For, should you try to count Allah's blessings, you could never compute them! Behold, Allah is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace.

Humility Toward People

So be humble to all, no matter what you have accomplished. Foremost among this is being humble to your parents if they are still alive.

وَاخْفِضْ جَنَاحَكَ لِمَنِ اتَّبَعَكَ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِینَ

“And spread the wings of thy tenderness over all of the believers who may follow thee.”

Ash-Shu'ara 26:215

• Al-Hijr 15:88 — So turn not thine eyes longingly towards the worldly benefits which We have granted unto some of those who deny the truth, and neither grieve over those who refuse to heed thee, but spread the wings of thy tenderness over the believers.

Humility Toward Parents

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّیَانِي صَغِیرً ا

“And spread over them humbly the wings of thy tenderness, and say: O my Sustainer! Bestow Thy grace upon them, even as they cherished and reared me when I was a child!”

Al-Isra 17:24

Repel Evil with Good

وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ قَوْلًا مِّمَّن دَعَا إِلَى اللَّهِ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا وَقَالَ إِنَّنِي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِینَ وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّیِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَیْنَكَ وَبَیْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِیمٌ

“And who could be better of speech than he who calls his fellow-men unto God, and does what is just and right, and says, 'Verily, I am of those who have surrendered themselves to God'? But [since] good and evil cannot be equal, repel thou evil with something that is better, and lo! he between whom and thyself was enmity may then become as though he had always been close unto thee, a true friend!”

Fussilat 41:33-34

Allah Does Not Love the Arrogant

If you want to learn how to behave, we look to Surah Luqman.

إِلَـهُكُمْ إِلَـهٌ وَاحِدٌ فَالَّذِینَ لَا یُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْآخِرَةِ قُلُوبُهُم مُّنكِرَ ةٌ وَهُم مُّسْتَكْبِرُ ونَ لَا جَرَمَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ یَعْلَمُ مَا یُسِرُّ ونَ وَمَا یُعْلِنُونَ إِنَّهُ لَا یُحِبُّ الْمُسْتَكْبِرِ ینَ

“Your God is the One God: but because of their false pride, the hearts of those who do not believe in the life to come refuse to admit this truth. Truly, God knows all that they keep secret as well as all that they bring into the open — and, behold, He does not love those who are given to arrogance.”

An-Nahl 16:22-23

Surah Luqman's Advice

Remember the story of Iblis, who refused the order of Allah because he thought he was better — he received the curse of Allah.

وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا یُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْیِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِیرِ

“And turn not thy cheek away from people in [false] pride, and walk not haughtily on earth: for, behold, God does not love anyone who, out of self-conceit, acts in a boastful manner. Hence, be modest in thy bearing, and lower thy voice: for, behold, the ugliest of all voices is the [loud] voice of asses.”

Luqman 31:18-19

Humble People Will Enter Paradise

تِلْكَ الدَّارُ الْآخِرَ ةُ نَجْعَلُهَا لِلَّذِینَ لَا یُرِ یدُونَ عُلُوًّا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فَسَادًا وَالْعَاقِبَةُ لِلْمُتَّقِینَ

“As for that [happy] life in the hereafter, We grant it [only] to those who do not seek to exalt themselves on earth, nor yet to spread corruption: for the future belongs to the God-conscious.”

Al-Qasas 28:83

The Prophet's Perfect Modesty

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was a perfect model of modesty and humbleness. He never spoke loudly or in an unseemly manner. In the market, he always passed by people quietly with a smile. Whenever he heard anything undesirable in an assembly, he did not say anything out of respect for the people, but the color of his face showed his feelings, and the companions became cautious. 'A'ishah (RA) said she never saw Allah's Messenger laughing so that she could see his molar teeth — he only used to smile.

Zayd (RA) reported the Prophet as saying: "Every religion has a character, and the character of Islam is modesty." The Messenger of Allah lived a simple and modest life both in Makkah as a trader before his Prophethood, and in Al-Madeenah as head of state afterward — the change in social status did not bring any change in his modest living.

The Prophet did not behave as if he was better than others, nor did he spurn manual work. 'Abdullaah bin Abi 'Awfa (RA) reported that the Prophet never refrained from going with a slave or a widow to accomplish their tasks. Others reported he used to tidy up his house, tie the camels, feed the animals, eat with his servants, and help them knead dough and bring provisions from the market. Anas (RA) reported he used to visit the sick, attend funerals, ride a donkey, and accept a slave's invitation for a meal. Jaabir (RA) said the Prophet used to slow down his pace for the sake of the weak and pray for them.

Anas (RA) said the Prophet would accept an invitation even if presented with barley bread and soup whose taste had changed, and said, "I am Allah's servant, I eat like a servant and sit like a servant." His self-deprecation was such that he once said: "By Allah, I do not know, even although I am Allah's messenger, what my fate in the next world will be, nor do I know what yours will be."

The Debt to Zayd ibn Sana'a

The Prophet once had to borrow money from a Jew called Zayd ibn Sana'a. The man came to demand immediate repayment a few days before it was due, and tugging at the mantle around the Prophet's shoulders, jibed that the progeny of 'Abd Al-Muttalib were always defaulters. 'Umar (RA), unable to tolerate this, started berating him and was about to strike him, when the Prophet said to the Jew, smiling, "There are still three days to go before the promise has to be fulfilled."

To 'Umar he said: "We might have had better treatment from you. You could have advised me to be more careful about the return of loans, and you could have advised the Jew to be more courteous in demanding repayment." He then asked 'Umar to get dates so the loan could be repaid, plus an extra forty kilograms for the rebuke the man had given.

We can say that humbleness is seen in every sphere of the Prophet's life — his way of talking, walking, sitting, and eating all reflected humbleness. May we all learn from this.

Hadith on Humility and Pride

• Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated the Prophet PBUH said: charity does not decrease any wealth; Allah increases the respect of anyone who forgives, and whoever is humble for the love of Allah, Allah will raise his rank (Muslim).
• Abdullah ibn Masood (RA) narrated the Prophet PBUH said: no one will enter paradise if he has even an atom's weight of pride.
• Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated the Prophet PBUH said: Allah does not speak to three categories of people on the Day of Judgement, does not purify them, and does not look at them, and they have a severe penalty: an elderly person who commits adultery, a king who lies, and a person who is proud and arrogant (Muslim).

Success, Failure, and Humility

As Muslims, we will strive and struggle, with different levels of success and failure — some of us avoid major sins like gambling and alcohol, yet cannot seem to avoid backbiting, slander, laziness, or pride. We will all be tested, and the answer to each test is the same: rely on Allah and His Messenger. One meaning of this reliance is to avoid pride and seek to inculcate humility, because a proud heart will not accept Allah's guidance or the teachings of Muhammad (SAW). Only a humble heart and soul will do that. If pride moves us away from Allah, humility is what brings us back.

As we become successful, we boast and become proud, causing all sorts of conflicts in families and communities. We are all humble human beings whom Allah has bestowed with mercy that can be removed any time — we all have shortcomings, mistakes, and faults, and Allah SWT hates the proud, arrogant, and boastful.

Let's try to be humble, modest, meek, simple, and low in every aspect of life. Be kind to people, extend your warmth, your services, your time, effort, knowledge, and money to all who need it. Allah will give His blessing on such a community. May Allah guide, bless, reward, and shower His mercy on this community and all of the Ummah, Ameen.